If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Reprinted in Without Feathers (1976).
Sex is like the game of bridge: if you don't have a good partner, you need a good hand.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Love is the answer; but while you re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
Script with Marshall Brickman.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
(quoted)
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
New Yorker Essays, 1970s
To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
The Early Essays
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats.
WIST is my collection of quotations I find meaningful, moving, amusing (intended or not), well-phrased, and/or to which I just say I "Wish I'd Said That." But just because I quote it here doesn't mean I actually agree with it. If you have any comments, corrections, or suggestions, please don't hesitate to
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