The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him. Jim Samuels (1948-1990) American stand-up comic (Attributed)
A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life. Jim Samuels (1948-1990) American stand-up comic (Attributed) (also attrib. Woody Allen)