Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
¶ Haiku error message
Quotations by ...
Sig Lines
wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault
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Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
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With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
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The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
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A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
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Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
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To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy
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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
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The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
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A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
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Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
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I love God. It’s His fan club I can’t stand.
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"If you don't like change, you're going to hate obsolescence."
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"The NSA is now funding research not only in cryptography, but in all areas of advanced mathematics. If you'd like a circular describing these new research opportunities, just pick up your phone, call your mother, and ask for one."
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"The usability of a computer language is inversely proportional to the number of theoretical axes the language designer tries to grind."
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"Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice."
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"The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist."
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"Too many freaks, not enough circuses."
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"I do believe that for every door that closes another will open -- but these hallways are real drag."
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"This gubblick contains many nonsklarkish English flutzpahs, but the overall pluggandisp can be glorked from the context."
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"Jesus loves you. Then again, so does Barney."
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"I refuse to star in your psychodrama."
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"Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive."
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"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"
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"People don't kill people. Bad instruction sets kill people."
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"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"Uh, I think so, Brain, but where will we find a duck and a hose at this hour?"
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"Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math."
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"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"
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"This sig line was typed before a live studio audience."
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"Friends don't let friends install drivers drunk."
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"Some people have six pack abdomens. I have a keg."
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"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
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"Yes, I am an Agent of Evil. However, my duties are largely ceremonial."
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"The problem with being too efficient is that once you've shown that you can walk on water, every SOB will want you to trot across the lake on errands."
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"Well, if you didn't struggle so much, you wouldn't get rope burns."
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"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career ... oooh, it's all too much for me."
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Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.
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"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy."
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"The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes."
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"I'm enduring life's theater in hopes of a good cast party."
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"This sentence is in Spanish when you are not looking."
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"Every time someone predicts the date of the end of the world, God pushes the date back a little, just to be funny."
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"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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"Deja Fu: The feeling that, somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before."
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"Where are we going? And why are we in a hand basket?"
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"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"Uh, I think so Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish."
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Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
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"Strangely enough, this is the past that somebody in the future is longing to go back to."
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"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot."
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"Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors."
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"43.3% of all statistics are meaningless!"
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"Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
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"Save the whales. Collect the whole set."
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"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left."
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"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"Uh ... yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?"
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"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
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"Lord, grant me the patience to suffer fools, or, alternatively, a chainsaw."
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"I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe."
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"I'd change the world but God won't give me the source code."
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"All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair."
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"Ambivalent? Well, yes and no."
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